With all the vitrol in the universe, I hate you Verizon Wireless!


UPDATE: This must be a sick f*ckin joke. I was sent a second replacement iPhone 5 today (March 28) and it doesn’t even charge properly.


With all the vitrol in the universe, I hate you Verizon Wireless! (And Apple, you are a close second.) Here’s the situation:

I have been stuck on my parents’ family plan going on 15 years now. This is the predicament that many-a-Millennial find ourselves in: We’re committed to something our parents’ chose for us when we were merely teenagers.

I had the iPhone 4s from Verizon for over 2 years. Then, when it came time to upgrade to Apple ioS 7, everything started NOT WORKING. The wifi didn’t work, the phone started acting slowly, and apps started crashing left and right.

I went to the Verizon store. They said “Don’t pay to upgrade now. Wait until the iPhone 6 comes out. Try to upgrade to ioS 7.1.”

I went home, upgraded to 7.1, and the phone still didn’t work. In fact, it got worse after the upgrade.

I then visited a different Verizon store, where I was told, “Yes, we have had tons of problems with the iPhone 4S and ioS 7. We’re going to replace this phone with an iPhone 5.”

So I gave them my details, and a replacement  iPhone 5 arrived at my office yesterday. It turns out the thing doesn’t work at all. I can’t make phone calls, and when I have been able to make a few phone calls, the person on the other end hasn’t listened to me. The phone is used and scratched up on the exterior – not how I would keep my phone, and not what I expect a phone that was kept immaculately to be replaced with.

I have not been able to speak to important clients all day (as I was at a conference), as the phone didn’t work properly. It is a super annoying situation, made worse when you realize that to a large corporation like Verizon, you are worth less than nothing, even if your family has used their services for 18+ years, paying them every goddamn month.

The Verizon staff — both at the store and on the phone (after waiting on hold for 30 minutes!!) — weren’t  helpful at all, despite oodles of kindness to them. Of course, they’re ostensibly following a horrid corporate policy.

I will venture to the Apple store tomorrow, hoping to clear things up with what I think is a better organization. We’ll see.

If that doesn’t work, I’m heading to a conference a few blocks away from Verizon Wireless HQ in New York City tomorrow morning. You can bottom dollar I will be meeting with the upper echelons of their organization if I am forced to go there. Watch out, Verizon. You messed with the wrong dude.

UPDATE: I went to the Apple Store where the staff was kind of but not really helpful. They told me they’d give me a new phone for $269, which doesn’t make sense since I pay $10 a month for insurance from Verizon, and they literally just sent me a new phone 24 hours earlier. Furthermore, the phone that Verizon sent me was first used on November 18, 2012 — more than a year ago — and was thus out of warranty from Apple. I loathe this world.


3 thoughts on “With all the vitrol in the universe, I hate you Verizon Wireless!

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